Success! One little word…One larger Irk!

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I don’t know why I hate dislike the word success so much

Except I do

1) I think someone’s trying to tell me that, sooner or later, I/we will be ‘good’ enough to achieve success, and I automatically presume it is meant in the British sense, work work work, get a career, find a mate, have kids etcsuccess 6

2) My idea of success is not inline with the mainstream idea. Success to me is about who I am as a person, and how I am doing at ‘being’ (as in, to just ‘be’ me)

3) I realise that someone probably wrote that piece about success, due to their own ideas about what that is and how best to help someone achieve it. Then I’m torn between posting this moan insert and possibly pooping on some other blogger that has mentioned success today… (sorry dear blogger if this is the case) and being true to my blogs purpose, which is to express myself (and I also sometimes hope to inspire others when I’m not moaning)

BUT… Read the rest of this entry

Yoga for The Toes and Fingers Anyone? Here’s hoping! :)

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Anyone who knows me well will not hesitate to confirm that I am a die-hard hater of exercise

Because

1. I hate sweating

exercise2. Due to a damaged nervous system, I sweat profusely from one side of my body only (having 2 sweaty pits looks like you’ve worked hard…One sweaty pit and you look like a freak, added to this, is the right side of my back being soaked whilst the left stays dry. I’m proper self-conscious about it

3. I don’t dig physical exertion at all

4. When you hate something, the brain is not clever enough to know you (apparently) secretly love it (as experts will have you believe). When your conscious thoughts about it are wholly negative, I believe the apparent endorphin rush expected during or after exercise is an alien concept. Feel good chemicals need feel good vibes

5. I always have something better to do when exercise is offered as the only other alternative Read the rest of this entry

A Spiritual Attitude to This Crazy Thing We Call Life

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spirit 11Spirituality is one of those words associated with sooooo many different ideas right?..The familiar ones include the practice of meditation, prayer, and surrounding one’s self with nature…On I could go

My Dad is a really spiritual guy so I grew up with more of an idea than most, as to what spirituality means; but my relationship with it was transformed when I felt and experienced a delivery of love into my heart. Truly life changing love…God’s Love

My Spiritual attitude is ever evolving; as I grow I’m sure it will continue to change well into the future. This is where I’m currently at in my outlooks and ideas about what everyday spirituality means for mespirit

1. My mentality (to a large extent) is ‘Live and let live’…Basically, I believe we are all on our own paths, and only God and I know me, and the same goes for everyone else…Only God and you know you.  You are the only one who can influence your path. It is not up to me to interfere with the spiritual journey of another, unless invited

2. I am learning to tell the truth when I most want to lie. This helps me to show those around me who I am, even though I bloody despise doing this when my self-expression is negative. But, when I do it, I honor my own worth and boundaries, not to mention my dysfunctional idiosyncracies (love thyself, poop bits included)

3. I proper try (and often succeed) in being non-judgemental (Again, my Dad talked about this a lot when we were little) Read the rest of this entry

Feel Good Songs for ‘The Blues’

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Feeling Blue?

I have discovered a little way of lightening the mental load

Make your self a feel good songs list on YouTube

(I read this week that people who listen to love songs take TEN times longer to get over a relationship, than those who don’t listen to mushy love stuff! SO with that knowledge under my belt, I began my quest for songs that don’t remind me of romantic love)

I have scoured the net looking for the ‘best 80’s and 90’s classics’, as well as the best reggae tunes everfeel good

The rule is…If I start feeling blue whilst it is playing, I stop it…

Reason being…not to infect the list with my bad mood, and to do so before my brain associates the song with any sort of sadness

If I had any idea how to, I’d direct you to my own list, but as I’m a YouTube account moron, I’m afraid you’ll have to make your own list :)

Good Luck

I hope it works for you :)

It makes me less blue; may that work for you too (should you be blue!)

Luv Dawny :) xxx

Grace and ‘God’s Glasses’

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I knew the gift of grace in entirety, long before I knew its various definitions

I just googled it out of curiosity and found many different descriptions, words, synonyms, life stories etc

Grace came to me when I couldn’t see anything but hategrace 1

It was a dark time…An unbearable time in my life, of sickness and distress so alarming, I was totally overwhelmed and all I wanted, was to die

The awakening and entry of more love in my heart, as a gift from god, allowed me to ‘wish the best’ for my enemies!!! (Truly)

Grace allowed me to see their perspective and reasons, or at least, recognise that they had their own story, just like me and you and everyone else

It dissolved my jealous outlook on a particular situation, into something unrecognisable

Grace says ‘DO your thang, whatever that is, I personally ‘send you my best/good luck/peace vibes’ Read the rest of this entry

Socially Unacceptable Timing for Response to Question :)

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As life ages me, it takes me longer and longer to answer a question and usually, 3 days later, I’m running through my head the actual answer…as in…the full comprehensive and specific descriptiontoo slow

So, in reality, this adds up to someone asking me a question and I either answer in a socially acceptable time frame with an incoherent less than poor attempt to explain whatever it is I’ve been asked about… or I leave the situation with the question hanging in the air and 3 days later I contact the questioner and say…I’m ready to answer your question now!

Either response is less than helpful to both asker and answerer!

More weird to add to my pile of oh too large amounts of weirdnesstoo slow 2

Dear Stranger…

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Dear Stranger,

I may tell you my name, I will more than likely tell you about some of the ‘tragic comedic experiences’ of my life. I will tell you about the places I’ve lived and the jobs I’ve had. I’ll (maybe) tell you a little about my brain. I may even tell you about one or two of the people I’ve loved. But, dear stranger, I will never tell you this…stranger

One day I had my heart-broken, in the most dazzlingly extreme, life shattering way that a heart can be broken. I won’t tell you what happened after either, because you wouldn’t believe it…I survived. Just. I really don’t wanna tell you the next thing.

I will never give anyone my heart again. Read the rest of this entry

I Think I’m a Positive Cynic!! Anyone else? :/

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Is there such a thing as a positive cynic

I’ve just looked Cynic up in the dictionary and it is someone who thinks the worst about people or outcome of events

I do this…

And then follow up with a belief/thought that everything will be alright in the endpositive

Anyone else have this odd outlook?

That’s all I have to say about that, I’m off to read away to my hearts content. God bless the writers on tut internet!

Toodles

‘Blessing My Blessings’…From Facts To Feeling,

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In the quest to cheer the fooook up before I keel over….I have, on numerous occasions, written lists of all my blessings and I have to say; I’m lucky to have a pretty long list. However, I don’t think a name/one word summary does many favours to covey the richness and depth of goodness, that some of the people and things on my list, bring to my life.

BlessingsThe trouble with lists :- When I read the list back to myself, I can’t help but feel like, the act of blessing the blessings’  (giving them the level of appreciation they deserve and hold), gets minimized and becomes almost mechanical. FEELING gratitude rather than NOTING gratitude, make for 2 very different states of mind

Sooooo, ramble ramble, the long and short of it is – I am going to try to capture the essence of the people and circumstances on my list, one at a time…I am going to savour slowly, all that I have, by really digging down into each separate person or place, noting their qualities, our experiences, our memories, and anything else that I associate with the people on my list

Read the rest of this entry

Getting Naked… Depression Is Her Skin

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What I never talk straight about

Depression!

Basically, my mental health has deteriorated to the point of complete ‘stoppage’ in all areas of my life. I’ve been living in my arm-chair for as long back as I can remember

Most days, I can’t even summon the will to bathe and brush my teeth

Sooooo…I’ve been fighting against the tide of my mental illnesses for nearly ten years and I’ve finally given up

Literally, physically, and psychologically…I’m fucked, tired, confused, astounded, grateful, defensive, paranoid, scared and my heart hurts

But this giving up thing only feels bad when I have an idea or a longing for something in my future, then I remind myself…’Dawn, you’ve given up, stop thinking about all that crap’ Read the rest of this entry

A Hearbreaking Choice, A Second Chance, A Mothers Letters of Love

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To my darling daughter… the light of my life and my reason for living! Time has dragged so slowly since I wrote to you last month, I’ve been counting down the days til I could again. I really hope school is still being good to you :) You told me a little bit about your friend Alice in your last letter, she sounds like a great friend! I’d love to hear about your other friends when you next write to me. 

So… has school taught you anything yet that really impressed you? God! As usual, I wanna ask you so much, but also tell you so much…

I want you to know that you can ask or tell me anything, absolutely anything. I’m not only your birth mother, I’m your best friend too. If you can’t go to your parents about something, no matter how wrong or scary or private it feels, you can tell me. I am impossible to shock so when I say anything, I really mean anything :)

Anyways, my little spring chicken, guess what!! ?? Thanks to your parents ongoing kindness, we get to see each other in less than 4 months! A  whole day together baby, I’m soooooo looking forward to it. What do you want to do? Where shall we go? I can’t believe your back in my life!!! I feel so blessed and I’m eternally grateful to your parents for this chance to get to know you…my darling daughter

I’ve been thinking like a wild thing about this months topic! I always start by asking myself ‘What do I want my baby girl to know and be?’ After sifting through boys, motherhood, hugs, racism and a ton of other topics, I finally landed on respect. I can only hope that I explain it in a way that makes sense Read the rest of this entry

I’ll have a Diet Coke and a Dose of Leprosy (Please) :)

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Hey all you folks on the tinternet!

I have written just 3 or 4 posts in 6 whole months! I’ve missed it a lot, and I’ve noticed that the more often I write, the better I feel. Plus, I still have a weak spot for them orange stars on wordpress…they give me a mini lift ;). I was writing almost everyday for 1 or 2 years before this gargantuan hiatus hit me. I was so self-conscious (whole ‘nother story). I think the creative section of my brain went AWOL

Ideas flowed in and out of me…normallydrunk

I was always thinking, always linking the ‘facts of life’!!! together to illustrate how the puzzle is made real… because of our inter connected lives, in terms of experiences, thoughts and feelings, schooling, families, institutions, careers, friends and lovers etc. Our similarities are wide-reaching, and bigger (more meaningful) than our differences. I truly believe that…

Anyways!!!

This post was meant to just be about alcohol, so I’ll get on the topic right about now Read the rest of this entry

Medicated Memories…I’m Everything Without Contents!

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I’m angry without the anger

I care with flatlined clichéd pity

Without others I could slip by, abandoned

What is a soul without memories

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In solace I know I’ve been stolen

Repressing all that makes me

Pushing away my spirited version of chatter

Sitting firmly on top of rusty springs

Bearing heavy….Heavy on the heart

*** Read the rest of this entry

The Top Ten Sell – My Homepage is a Mess!

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After many months off from blogging due to a severe case of writers block, I’m back in tut blogosphere and reading your entries galore as I sometimes do. But; each time I leave my little Gravatar trail with a like or comment, I know there’s a chance the recipient may come back and check out my page. Now here is the problem, I currently have a whole page of utter crap! Yes! All 10 posts on my homepage are either pointless drivvle or snippets of my strange sense of humour, which nobody but me needs. There’s not a point in sight, much less an actual topic, and at least 50%  of the entries don’t even really make sensecrap

I guess it’s not helped by the fact that my blogging is soooo varied, a ‘anything goes’ mentality does allow me to, shall we say experiment. Which is what led me here

My current 10 are truly piss poor and all I can do is hope for a star or two to quell the sadness within (Oh the drama)… as X amount of bloggers stop by, think ‘what the foooook’ is this woman on about, and leave promptly…

Do you ever look at your page and think, God I hope no-one visits today, I’ve written half a foot of toot (rubbish)? A bit like when someone knocks at your door and the house is trashed, its like that

I might have to search for something useful that I’ve written and re-blog the bugger to break it up – the ocean of crap that is. Until then, my writers block continues, therefore, my crap is staying visible for the forseeable future so I better get used to it. Right, enough of this talking to yourself. I better post some more pointless crap :) And here it is!

*sobs*

Don’t Worry…I’ll Google It! (Pet Peeeev’s)

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phoneMy ‘pet peeeev’ of the year so far has gotta be that bloody phrase we so often hear nowadays

“I’ll google it”

And that’s it for the next 20 minutes …you can kiss goodbye to any old school methods of communication (talking); whilst whoever has a smart phone insists that you snuggle into each others personal space to share the 3 inch screen, all for some crappy and very miniature video or webpage that proclaims to know the answer to everything

Not to mention the meandering onto the other phrase

“Just wait for it to load, it’s hilarious/clever/entertaining”

I really don’t like smart phones…They facilitate rudeness and increase irritation in living rooms all over the land

That is all for now…

Finally! We Have Found the Perfect Way to Release Free Energy Technology to the People!

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Littlebeut333:

WE THE PEOPLE…Have the ANSWERS! Only 4 days left to find funding

Originally posted on 2012 The Awakening:

From Hope Girl and the Fix the World campaign….

 
September 10, 2013

This is very exciting and extremely urgent! The time to do this is NOW!!!

Beautiful souls, I believe we have finally found the perfect scenario that will allow free energy technology to break through to the people. Please note that this is a very bold post. It has to be. For those individuals who have heard of free energy technology, the question always remains the same, what will it take to get it to the people? We’ve heard of stories of brilliant inventors who have had their inventions suppressed, their patents confiscated by the governments…. we’ve heard of tales of greed, theft, power struggles and personality differences. With all of these stories, we end up with the same outcome: the technology does not get released, and the people who need the energy to live, to have clean…

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Leave Everything, Leave Nothing? Leave History or Hell!

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IMAGINE…

The world was coming to an end

Were all given a time capsule, inside it is an a4 piece of paper and it readstime 1

As we all know, we are coming to the end of the world and there is nothing we can do to stop it now. However, we believe these capsules may survive the chemical explosion. One day a long long way in the future, someone may find yours. You have 200 words at your disposal

Think of all the languages we have, great teachings, beautiful works of art. The internet, books, movies, bibles, history…All gone Read the rest of this entry